Understanding Your Dual Nature

We have the habit to put a tag on ourselves, accepting only some parts of our personality. We accept describing us with a word like “independent” but don’t realize that sometimes we should say “selfish”. We might like to call ourselves “ambitious”, without realizing that we often act “stubborn”.

Here is a practical exercise that can give you more insight on who you are and allows you to respond to various situations in your life with a better understanding of your actions. It is also useful to experience this exercise while trying to see yourself in a non-judgemental manner.

1. First of all, write down three personal qualities you have which you feel good about. For example:
I am dedicated.
I am dependable.
I am good at heart.

2. Secondly, add an "alternative reality" to each one of the above statements. This means that you should find examples when the opposite of the initial statement is also true. Here’s how it might look like:
I am dedicated in a work related environment, but sometimes I can also be easily distracted from my task.
I am dependable and trustworthy when it comes to my workplace, but I can also sometimes be less dependable with my friends.
I am good at heart, but sometimes I act selfishly and without regards for other people’s feelings.

3. Now you should reverse the sentence topics, and even modify some words if you feel it helps. Starting with the negative aspects that accompany your personality will give you more insight and offer you a better perspective on these issues. Here is how it may look like after the transformation:
I am sometimes distracted from my work, but I am usually dedicated to my chores, especially in a business environment.
My friends may find me less dependable at times, but when it comes to work I am a person you can count on.
I sometimes ignore what other people wish, but I am good at heart most of the time.

Read carefully the last two lists (steps 2 and 3) for a few minutes. Don’t pay attention to the topic of the sentence but try to focus on the meanings your words expressed. The purpose of this exercise is to show you that “black” and “white” are rarely defining for a person. By identifying your duality you get a better understanding of your actions and the responses they trigger.

You have also created a list of three qualities and three negative aspects that you believe characterize you. The first step in removing the negative characteristics was to identify them. Now it is time to put the exercise to practical use.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where you have to choose or to decide something, try to remember this exercise. Observe that particular situation from a dual point of view by acknowledging your positive features while also analyzing the attached negative parts.

With little practice this exercise can lead to a natural integration in your conscious and subconscious mind. After a while, you may not even need to make a conscious effort to analyze a situation from both perspectives and this process will come naturally. A much desired objectivity can appear between your positive and negative characteristics, and you can use it to make the right choices in most situations.